Ugh, Facebook is both the best and the worst thing ever invented. I love, but freaking hate it. Everything is fraught with possible hidden meanings... of course, I realise that most of those hidden meanings probably only exist in my over-analytical mind, but there they are.
Today, The Boy sent me a 'hug' through Facebook...
Did he actually intend to send me a hug?
Does he even know that he sent me a hug?
Was it an accident?
Did it happen automatically when he accepted a hug from someone else?
Did he send one to all of his friends?
Should I 'accept' the hug or just ignore it?
If he did send the hug, why did he send it?
All I want is an actual, real hug from him.
Fuck, I'm such a stupid girl.
Wednesday 24 December 2008
Wednesday 17 December 2008
Making out Breaking up in Korean
The Boy and I were discussing the Korean 'phrasebook' Making out in Korean on the phone the other day. That book is some good shit. Not because of its educational factor which is pretty minimal, but because of its amusement factor which is high... What's funnier (in the immature sense, of course) than learning how to say 'Go home and masturbate!' or 'You look like a penis!' in Korean??? Tee hee.
We were laughing away merrily when The Boy started discussing the 'Farewell' (read: breakup) phrases and then BOOM we were broken up. That boy is 벌레만도 못한 새끼. Seriously. First of all, what kind of fucked up way is that to end a long-term relationship? It's like a bad plot-line from a TV show (hello, Berger's Post-it) or a punchline to a joke. I wouldn't even believe it if it hadn't happened to me. Second of all, that 개 새끼 really needs to work on his timing. For some reason he only seems to be capable of conveying those types of feelings after lulling me into a false sense of security and lovey-doveyness. We already semi-broke up once which was also not done in the best spirit or time, but that's another story. This time was official and final and would not have been entirely unexpected a couple of months ago when we were going through a weird phase, but took me completely by surprise because we had sorted everything out and things were great... or so he led me to believe.
Apparently, he 'doesn't know what [he] wants from life' and needs to be on his own 'for a while'. Why is it that when people say that they always seemingly manage to 'find' themselves, and with a new girl/boyfriend to boot, within a very short time? In fact, there's a girl who has been leaving extremely flirtatious messages on his Facebook 'wall' for the past couple of weeks, so I wouldn't be surprised if he had 'found' himself already. To add insult to injury, he had the audacity to give me the whole 'but this doesn't change how I feel and I still really care about you and you're still my favourite person in the entire world' speech. Okay, fuckwit, clearly that is bollocks or you wouldn't have just ripped my heart into a million little pieces and then stomped on them. Fuck, what a waste of the last few years of my life.
Everyone has been telling me that I'm better off without him, he's a 'douchebag', and that they always thought I was 'too good' for him anyway. Unfortunately, I don't agree with any of them. I now have this persistent, constant ache. The worst was the next morning after it had happened. I woke up and had a blissful 10 seconds before the memory that we're no longer 'in a relationship' bitch-slapped me like a mother-fucker right across my soul. Certain pabo tendencies aside, he really was a great boyfriend and was there for me at times when most people would have turned their backs. I know my friends are trying to make me feel better by saying that I can 'do better', but really it just makes me feel worse. For starters, I don't really believe in a person being 'too good' for someone else. I mean; what a horrible, shitty judgement to make of someone. But, most importantly, I don't want to do better... I just want him. Le sigh.
We were laughing away merrily when The Boy started discussing the 'Farewell' (read: breakup) phrases and then BOOM we were broken up. That boy is 벌레만도 못한 새끼. Seriously. First of all, what kind of fucked up way is that to end a long-term relationship? It's like a bad plot-line from a TV show (hello, Berger's Post-it) or a punchline to a joke. I wouldn't even believe it if it hadn't happened to me. Second of all, that 개 새끼 really needs to work on his timing. For some reason he only seems to be capable of conveying those types of feelings after lulling me into a false sense of security and lovey-doveyness. We already semi-broke up once which was also not done in the best spirit or time, but that's another story. This time was official and final and would not have been entirely unexpected a couple of months ago when we were going through a weird phase, but took me completely by surprise because we had sorted everything out and things were great... or so he led me to believe.
Apparently, he 'doesn't know what [he] wants from life' and needs to be on his own 'for a while'. Why is it that when people say that they always seemingly manage to 'find' themselves, and with a new girl/boyfriend to boot, within a very short time? In fact, there's a girl who has been leaving extremely flirtatious messages on his Facebook 'wall' for the past couple of weeks, so I wouldn't be surprised if he had 'found' himself already. To add insult to injury, he had the audacity to give me the whole 'but this doesn't change how I feel and I still really care about you and you're still my favourite person in the entire world' speech. Okay, fuckwit, clearly that is bollocks or you wouldn't have just ripped my heart into a million little pieces and then stomped on them. Fuck, what a waste of the last few years of my life.
Everyone has been telling me that I'm better off without him, he's a 'douchebag', and that they always thought I was 'too good' for him anyway. Unfortunately, I don't agree with any of them. I now have this persistent, constant ache. The worst was the next morning after it had happened. I woke up and had a blissful 10 seconds before the memory that we're no longer 'in a relationship' bitch-slapped me like a mother-fucker right across my soul. Certain pabo tendencies aside, he really was a great boyfriend and was there for me at times when most people would have turned their backs. I know my friends are trying to make me feel better by saying that I can 'do better', but really it just makes me feel worse. For starters, I don't really believe in a person being 'too good' for someone else. I mean; what a horrible, shitty judgement to make of someone. But, most importantly, I don't want to do better... I just want him. Le sigh.
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